Fat Tuesday & Shifting Gears

So it's Fat Tuesday...I generally don't participate (I'm not religious or French or Cajun...altho probably somewhat naive and uninformed) in the "giving up something" altho I'd really like to be in New Orleans or Rio or one of the other big cities that celebrates the holiday with a BANG someday!  Who doesn't like a good party?!  Anyway, it's a day to rejoice and release inhibitions and be happy, right?  Or do I have it totally wrong?  Well after another trying day after another trying night of my dear hubby being gone on business (seems the trend these days, a few days each week) and seeing the bright colored balloons outside the southern restaurant around the corner as I pushed the stroller home from a few unexciting errands I thought to myself, "why not?"  So after rushing the last of our Valentine cards to the mailbox to meet the 5pm deadline I was pushing the stroller over to my favorite local happy hour spot, Noeteca Cafe.  They serve yummy food but I'm drawn in by their $7 any wine happy hour - I often wonder if despite my always ordering the wine that costs $12 outside of happy hour if the wine that costs $7 anytime is just as good if not better...tho I have yet to test my theory.  I usually go to Noeteca with my bestie Dan when our schedules mesh for a meet-up after he gets off work but I almost always have my kids with me.  There's an outdoor area on the wide sidewalk and a bench under the windows so Tyler & Teagan usually run back and forth on that behind me as I lunge to keep my wine or glass of water from toppling over when they get too rambunctious.  Tonight we had an almost bland but still good artichoke soup, and I think the kids actually wore more than they ate!  They we had a delicious cheese plate (Comte and Grand Panada) accompanied by balsamic, figs, almonds, sliced green apples, dried cranberries & apricots, prunes and a yummy preserve.  So basically I strayed from my current health guidelines of no alcohol, dairy, sugar or wheat (I don't do caffeine or meat anyway) but hey, it's Fat Tuesday!!  Besides, a girls gotta get out of the house!!  It's good for me and it's good for the kids.

It's been a WHILE since I blogged last...actually I think it was the end of my trip to Turkey last July! Hah!  Let's just say I was directing my creative energies in other directions than my writing.  However, I've been reading some art blogs lately and just plain 'ol feeling like a piece of the puzzle was missing for me and today it just dawned on me that I should shift gears slightly and start blogging again, tho with more emphasis now on my art adventures.  It's been just about a year now (early March) that I started painting again, or rather that I started creating art again.  I haven't always been a painter, but I've always been an artist, and paint just seemed right at this point.  I've created just under a dozen'ish paintings, which I'll take as a decent amount for the time, two of which I've sold and another which hung in an exhibit through the Petaluma Arts Council.  I've learned a lot, but I've got a lot more to go.

I read a quote today that a fellow artist posted on her blog that goes "One must spoil as many canvases as one succeeds with."  None other than the talented artist Vincent van Gogh said that a million years ago and it really smacked me in the face.  I know myself (I should hope so, after living with me for 38 1/2 years now!) and know I'm a watcher, perhaps even a follower though I hate to describe myself that way.  As far back as preschool & kindergarten my teachers were telling my mom that I tended to hesitate in class, keep back and watch the others as if learning what to do and what not to do before I felt I was ready and confident enough to take on whatever task or project by myself.  Yep, I can be tentative and cautious although that seems hardly like me in so many other aspects of life!  Unfortunately, in my art, that's how I am.  It's unfortunate because I have a pretty decent ability, a fair talent, a good knack...at framing a photograph interestingly, at sketching the human body accurately, at painting realism.  But while that's not something everyone can do, there are plenty that can, and they are doing it with their own twist.  What I lack right now is an individual style, something to set me apart from other artists.  Do I expect or dream to make millions and have everyone know my name and collect my work?  Ok sure I'd lie if I didn't say yes at least a little bit, but mostly what I'm after is filling the hole in my spirit that gapes open when I'm not doing art, releasing my creative energy in ways that hopefully bring smiles or at least pause to people's faces.  The last thing in the world I want is to have to return to some awful desk job that I hate (because it's not artistic) once my children reach the age where I'm no longer needed at home full time so I'm hoping I can fall back on my art.  When I imagine my retired years, I see myself in my studio, painting, sculpting, doing stained glass or making jewelry, hopefully in a lovely seaside home :)  This is who I am and it took 37 1/2 years to finally have the courage and ability to go for it.  I have a lot of work to do!  I have, as Van Gogh said, a lot of canvases to spoil!  And therein may be one of my problems, I want to do everything perfect the first time!  I'm almost afraid to try something new, make a new mark, etc.  It's been holding me back but can't anymore.  That's what I want this blog to focus on now.

There was a new moon last Sunday and this one felt especially pivotal to me.  I've been drudging around in a rut of holidays, sickness & apathy for a few months now and was drowning.  I tend to swing to the extremes in my life, in my spirit, all the way over to the edge where everyone is holding their breath just waiting for me to plunge over the cliff and then back again to the picture of health, happiness, stability.  Back and forth, although these days that same impenetrable protective boundary that kept me from landing in jail or the looney bin or a coffin is quite a bit more buffered, no thanks I'm sure to my children, so my swings aren't as dangerous as they once were.  Though that doesn't mean I'm still not mentally and spiritually affected just as negatively.  I take medication but that doesn't always seem like it's working.  I'm on the verge of yet a whole new Tiffany, even though in the past I've said the same and it has been true.  There can be no end to the times you are renewed in life or what is the use in going on?  I have to keep learning, keep reaching higher, trying to be a better me.  I've always been a journaler but I'll go chunks of time not writing and that always seems to correspond with a disconnect I'm feeling even though it might seem I'm just too busy to write.  Busy can be good but busy can also be bad if I'm not taking care of myself.  So here I am again!

My intent is to still write about my thoughts and events in my life but hopefully with more focus on my art, what I'm trying, what I'm inspired by, etc.  I've been meeting so many new artists over the last year, going to art exhibits, researching though books and the internet about techniques and history, etc. etc.  I love it...but of course I have other priorities in the day.  In as much as I intend to refocus on my art I also intend to refocus on enjoying my life outside of art, my children and husband, my family and friends, reading, the gym, travel (local & non), health and pets, but to name a few. 

I look forward to you sharing in this journey with me and invite your comments and thoughts.  We are all journeying in this world, separate but together.

July 19, 2012 Last day in Bodrum

July 19, 2012 Last day in Bodrum

It was our last full day in Bodrum and all we really had on the agenda was checking out the castle, maybe the mausoleum, and just general hanging out again.  There’s not terribly much to do in Bodrum, it’s really just about not doing anything!  Hahaha!  It’s about sleeping very late, laying in the sun & dipping in the sea, eating & drinking after the sun has gone down (meaning late), wandering through the shops then dancing at the clubs until the wee hours.  Lather, rinse, repeat. 

After the usual breakfast with the usual suspects we made plans for whoever wanted to tour the castle to meet at the entrance at 1 pm.  We walked down the narrow, ped-traffic-only shopping street checking out the shops for the few hours before 1, Tony breaking off at one point to take a dip in the sea to cool off and then rejoin us.  There was a small art gallery that I enjoyed slowing down in and just taking in the artist’s brushstrokes, recreating simple but colorful doorway images, often painted on pieces of scrap 2’x 4’s where some of the natural wood was left to show through creating quite a unique, textural feel to the painting.  I thought, I can do that.  Then I thought, I MUST set aside time on a routine basis when I get home to explore my art or it is never going to happen and that would be a shame.  I can’t get good at something by just daydreaming about it.  We all have the same 24hrs each day, it’s just a matter of how we spend them. 

That’s a spicy meat-a-ball!

We had a quick lunch at an outdoor table under a canopy of vines and next to a big banner that said “These Tables Are Not For McDonalds!” since there was a McDonald’s right next to this little eatery that didn’t have any room inside other than to stand and order.  We learned a lesson at this meal which would have been better learned earlier in the trip, though we had our suspicions all that time, which is that if you don’t see a price on a menu you have to ask what it is because our theory is they price according to the patron.  Hmmm, American, yeah we can charge them more!  Maybe that’s not right to assume but it sure felt that way, esp., when we got the bill for this meal and the large fries (which weren’t that good nor very large) were the equivalent of $8!  I don’t gather they eat many fries anyway and that mostly tourists order them so maybe that’s why they cost more.  Our wraps weren’t so overpriced after all.  I tried to brave the jar of peppers again, as I had way back on the first day in Istanbul when I tried one in the “Tantuni” Evin had bought, which apparently is a special, yummy Turkish thing – veal, parsley, tomato wrapped in a pita which doesn’t sound so unique or special so maybe it’s the veal or particular herbs they use.  But she stuck one of these long, skinny, light green peppers down into the wrap and said that was common a “condiment” for the Turkish and indeed I’ve seen jars of these puppies at every eating establishment, small or large, cheap & sleazy or fancy, right next to the salt shaker & ashtray!  Let me put it this way, they may be small but they are HOT!  When I’d tried the tantuni (yeah I still can’t believe I ate veal but I was feeling like ‘when in Turkey…’) I wanted to get the full experience and though I’m not sure I could eat them all the time, or with every bite, it was yummy and made me feel very…cultured!  Hahaha!  Needless to say I hadn’t tried one again until now and after one bite I had to take the pepper out of my veggie wrap because it was just too spicy! J 

“There wolf, there castle!”

We ended up touring the castle with Nebobi (I think I’ve spelled her name differently every freakin’ time I’ve written it and I still don’t know what’s right!), Alison & Jill (a friend of Alison’s who just joined us in Bodrum) for the next few hours.  I have to say, it wasn’t so exciting.  I mean, sure it was a cool, big castle, but there were a lot of stairs which was difficult with the stroller and a lot of open courtyards that were pretty but stiflingly hot since the castle walls blocked any breeze from coming through.  There were some cool, old artifacts in those courtyards that weren’t so much marked or even protected which was bizarre and made you want to go sit on them or touch them and yet better judgment kept you from doing so.  There was display along a long wall of a ridiculous amount of amulets in varying shapes & sizes with information who used them for what & when so I guess they were really important but you look at 10 you’ve seen all 100!  There was a cool coin & jewelry display in a darkened room which made you think about what ancient hands held those coins (kept in a leather drawstring coin purse?) and what was purchased with them (fruit? grain? chickens? shack rent?) and how hard they had to work for them.  The jewelry seemed so small, maybe the women had smaller wrists & necks & fingers back then.  I had to bypass checking out the towers (there were like 5 of them, on all corners of the castle) because of all the steps, the heat and the kids so I sent Tony on with the rest of the group and later heard it really wasn’t all that.  I guess you couldn’t go inside them, just walk around the outside, which of course provided amazingly beautiful views of Bodrum, the hills & the sea, but that view was the same from every tower and I’d already seen it from the highest point I made it. 

We didn’t end up going to see the Mausoleum because we ran out of time and were told it too wasn’t all that.  But we did get a chuckle out of the blurb in our tour book about it:

“The beating heart of the region, and the namesake of the entire peninsula, the town of Bodrum has been a dot on the map for thousands of years.  It first rose to fame on the back of the Mausoleum, the spectacular tomb of the Carian King Mausolus, that Roman historian Pliny the Elder designated one of the Seven Wonders of the World.  Today it’s known throughout Turkey and beyond as a posh paradise where sun-kissed travelers dance the breezy summer nights away.”  Why did we chuckle about that?  Because Tony and several of our friends have been so taken with Pliny The Elder beer lately, a specialty at Russian River Brewing Company in Santa Rosa! 

We were told there was a pool around the corner from our place that you could use and hang out as long as you want if you bought something from the bar/restaurant so in desperate need of cooling off after the castle tour we got changed at the hotel and headed for relief.  We almost thought we were going the wrong way since it seemed like the super narrow alley-like “road” we took was going on forever.   It had 8’ white concrete walls on each side bordering people’s homes & gardens, cascades of bougainvillea coming over as well as branches of olive trees or pomegranate trees.  Doorways with hand-painted tile house number above them popped up every so often.  I saw gardens everywhere in Bodrum, over these walls or in our hotel yard there are fruit trees, rows of tomatoes and other veggies, even sometimes in front of restaurants there will be a few pots like they are growing their own supplies!  There are also vines and trees everywhere, usually the vines taking over the trees!  It had a very tropical, lush and homey feeling, which to me doesn’t seem like 3 traits that generally go together.  We finally found the pool, ordered a couple beers, set-up camp in the shade of a few umbrellas and took a dip in the salt-less water!  There was a little kiddy portion of the pool right near our end so I took Teagan & Tyler in and then sat on my butt bringing the water up to my shoulders if I slumped as the 2 little ones stood at the edge, so excited to be “on their own” in the water, holding onto the edge for support.  Teagan kept dipping her face down in the water and I was watching her so careful but she never seemed to take any in, she was just so happy splashing and bouncing and putting her face in.  She actually sat down once, probably having no idea what was going to happen, and went totally under but even though she coughed a bit when I snatched her up she wasn’t freaked out at all and just went back to splashing.  Tyler, on the other hand, got a little splatter on his face from his splashing and freaked out.  So interesting how different they are.  I stayed in until I couldn’t face the next phase of skin prune-age where the grooves get so deep and stiff and painful you’d rather just like to cut off your fingers!  Tyler stayed in until we left, which wasn’t too much longer since we wanted to rejoin the group for dinner.  Besides I’d just about had enough of the couple in the swimming pool that were totally wrapped around each other, coasting around in the water as one, only coming apart for air every few minutes. 

After the typical garden meet-up we decided to go back to the restaurant we ate at the day before yesterday since most of us agreed it was so good.  Ray & Dawn had actually gone back the next day so tonight would make it three dinners in a row for them!  I wasn’t so thrilled about going back, not because I didn’t totally enjoy my meal, but why go back to the same place when there were so many others to pick from?  I didn’t feel like making a big deal about it though since everyone else seemed so agreeable to it.  I suppose I could have asked Tony for us to have our own dinner separate from the group but I wanted to be with the group.  Well I don’t think the little restaurant was used to serving 11 people at a time because after we all finally ordered it took FOREVER and in fact our dishes came out in waves, the vegetarian casseroles first (for me, Alison & Rebecca) then the pidas (for Tony & someone at the other end of the table) then some other thing for a few other people.  It was a mess.  At least my casserole was delicious again.  Teagan had been passed out in the stroller but was awake now and NOT happy.  Pelin took her for a little walk and then her mom tried too but even once they handed her back to me all I could do for the sake of my sanity was to take her back to the hotel.  My mood had kinda turned pissy anyway so it wasn’t such a big deal for me to have to leave the table.  It was nice to get back into the air conditioned hotel room; I got a glass of wine from the front desk and just relaxed.  Teagan stopped screaming and was fine not long after we got back to the room thankfully.  Tony came back with Tyler soon and told me a bunch of the group (the young ones) were thinking of heading to this little town over the hill where there’s supposed to be some amazing dance clubs and he wondered if I wanted to join.  I said no, maybe back before I had kids I would be up for the adventure but it was already pretty late, it had been a full day and besides, my requisite for fun these days just doesn’t come from staying out late partying.  Gosh, that statement sure made me sound old.  I love to go out dancing, but I didn’t have any club worthy clothes with me and the whole trip I’ve only put on make-up and done my  hair once, ok twice, for the wedding & reception, not that I need to do either to go dancing.  Meh, it just wasn’t where I was at.  I finished up the blog I was working on though and told Tony I would like to go down to the water and have a drink since it was our last night in Bodrum.  The biggest bummer about travelling with kids is not being able to share your last night on the beach with your husband listening to the waves lap on the pebbly shore while enjoying a nightcap, gazing up at the stars and trying to memorize the moment.  C’est la vie!  So I walked down to the water and did all of the above minus Tony.  It was still lovely even though I missed Tony.  I sat there for a while before walking back and crawling into bed.  Sigh… 

in the garden area of our hotel

as you walked into one shop this was what you saw at your feet in the doorway, all those evil eyes!!

our lunch spot

outside the castle, in front of the marina

in front of the entrance to the castle

Teagan head!

Tiffy head!

wearing mommy's hat

one of those doorways on our walk to the pool

chillin' in the garden

garden kitty having a stretch

July 18, 2012 Cruising the Aegean

July 18, 2012 Cruising the Aegean

I didn’t sleep well, tossing & turning, worrying about where the kids were on the beds and if they were close to falling off.  Then there was a prayer call…it was dark outside and I thought it was the middle of the night.  Also because I was in a half-sleep state it felt like the “song”/call went on forever and instead of lulling me back to sleep I just marveled at how loud and long lasting it was.  Turns out that was the 5 a.m. call and I was able to go back to sleep for a few more hours.  Another tomato, cucumber, cheese & olive breakfast and a group of us headed off to the marina for a day boat cruise on the Aegean.  We were first almost put on this totally crowded boat but we were like, no way José, so they put us on another one that was totally empty although around 20 more people ended up joining our cruise.  The lower level had two rows of 5 tables that could easily seat 6 but we only had 2-4 at them and a walkway down the middle.  Then there was an open area in front of the captain’s cabin/bar where you could stand or there were stairs to the top of the boat that was uncovered and had giant cushions to lay on and soak up the sun.  I stayed below at the tables where it was covered :)  The boat left at 1130 and didn’t get back in until 630, all the time in between cruising the Aegean Sea.  We made 5 stops to swim, jumping off the sides of the boat into the clear, dark blue, cool at first but then warm, salty water.  Lunch was served us at the 3^rd stop, us veggies getting the salad, rice & bread plate minus the chicken & potatoes portion.  The salad was full of dill & big hunks of parsley that I picked out but for the most part it wasn’t bad.  We drank Efes beer and had a blast enjoying the scenery and dipping in the water.  There was fun Turkish dance music playing that kept us kicking our legs to the beat and they served an afternoon tea with cookies as well.  It was so relaxing and beautiful.  I would just stare out at the water and island beyond it, feeling the breeze on my face and trying to imagine what it would be like to be filthy rich and having a yacht to go out on whenever I wanted.  To have all that luxury while just cruising without a care on the sea!  

Now I Know My ABC's, Next Time Won't You...

At some point during the 3rd stop, which was our longest stop of 1 1/2 hours, while a bunch of us were out swimming and farting around we started imitating synchronized swimmers - very badly mind you.  Tony was taking pictures of us at the moment and suddenly one of us got the idea to spell out letters in the water together.  It had been a running "joke" that we dubbed ourselves "Team Tron" with the destination wedding and group of us coming together, trying to organize daily events, trying to communicate those events through the group, and with all of it being so challenging & often pathetic.  Most of us were Deutron's ("Tron") friends before Evin's friends and while we all came from different parts of his life, some of us had become friends since meeting before Turkey.  The rest of us on this trip just fell in like we were all friends from forever.  So I think it was Alison that thought it would be fun to spell out "Team Tron" in body letters in the sea and send it to him, esp. since he & Evin's hadn't made it on the boat trip with us.  So 4 of us clumsily put together the letters "T" "R" "O" & "N" before we had to get out of the water because the boat was moving on.  Then, while cruising to the next spot, some of us got the half cocked idea to do ALL the letters of the alphabet so we could spell all of our names, if we wanted.  It sounded like a fun challenge so we agreed, designated a photographer who would stay on the boat (Ray) and enlisted the rest of the group so we'd be sure to have enough bodies in the water.  I only wish we'd had video of the whole ordeal instead of just the final letters, what a freakin' RIOT!  We were pinched for time because the last stop was only 20 minutes long and we had to get through the whole alphabet!  We all jumped out into the water and grouped together, all yelling directions at each other about where to be in order to make the capital letter "A."  It was a lot harder than we thought, esp. since a certain swimmer just wasn't seeing the vision the rest of us were, which happened on several letters and was so hilarious as we kept yelling the same person's name because they were just out of place continually!  When we'd finally get ourselves together in what we thought was a perfect rendition of whatever letter we would all yell out the letter, at the same time, without thinking about it, so Ray would know we were ready for the photo.  It was hard to hold our position for long with the waves, etc.  The funniest one was when we made an "S" and all got in place and yelled "S" and then said to each other "that was a perfect S!" and from on top of the boat Ray yells, "that didn't look anything like an S!"  Hahahaha!!!  It was the most fun I've had in a long time, regardless of all the salt water I swallowed and got in my eyes.  We managed to pull off all the letters in time and I got on the boat to check-out the pictures just to make sure before we were totally screwed out of time.  I decided our letter "F" was seriously needing help so I yelled to the rest of the group in the water they needed to make another "F."  The second one was much better and soon everyone was out of the water and we were pulling away in the boat, chuckling and wondering if the other people on the boat (none of which were English) thought we were all high as kites or just stupid or what!!

We got Tyler & Teagan out a little bit but the water was actually a bit too cold considering we didn’t have room to wade in and get them adjusted.  Even the rest of us basically had to jump in because it was slightly too painful to go slow, though once we were in it was totally nice.  There was this really sweet Turkish woman who totally clamored to Teagan and hung out with her while Tony & I swam at one stop.  At another stop I swam to the pebble beach and picked out some sweet rocks to bring home…I could have just sat there all day sifting through them, picking them up and marveling at the colors and shapes before another caught my eye and I moved on.  I wished for my camera but that would have been too far to swim with one hand out of the water.  I thought about my triathlon training…how totally nonexistent it is right now and how when I get home I’ve got to start putting in time at the gym pool. 

It was a wonderful day but soon we were heading back into the harbor and as the wind stopped from our motion on the water, the heat returned, ushering us back to the hotel that much faster to rinse off & relax in the a/c.  We met again in the garden, snacking on some fresh fruit Novi or Alison bought from a nearby stand, sipping wine or Efes or Raki.  I was having a serious case of sea-legs, feeling like I was still on the boat rocking & swaying.  In fact in the shower when we first got back I actually felt like I might throw up it was so bad.  It seemed everyone else was having the same problem too.  We went for dinner down on the “beach” a few doors down from where we were the first night.  That whole bay is just lined with restaurants bleeding right out onto the pebble beach, tables all the way up to the water’s edge, under the stars.  The group was even bigger tonight, Deutron’s family that were staying at a different hotel joining us.  We had a nice dinner, shared a bottle of wine and then, much to our delight, another fireworks show!  There’s this big club, Halikanas, or something like that, supposedly the biggest & most popular in all of Turkey, that shut down a few years ago for total renovations and that Wednesday night, of all nights, when we were there, was their grand reopening!  So they put on the fireworks show and it was quite a show.  Totally amazing sitting on the pebble beach, listening to the gentle waves lapping against the shore as the warm night sky lit up with color.  How could it get any more perfect?!

On the boat with an excited Teagan

Notice how naked we look next to that woman covered head to toe behind us

Name that letter?!

Born to sail??

 The chariot!

A couple doggies having a friendly scuffle in the square on our way to dinner where an impromptu dance party broke out to the sound of the street musicians - and yes, we all danced!

 Fireworks over the bay from the club!

 Tyler trying & checking out the shop offerings on our walk back to the hotel.  Notice the 3 "evil eyes" in the upper right hand corner?

 This was such a common scene...so beautiful!

Outside our hotel - see Teagan in the back in the stroller? 

July 17, 2012 Bodrum, Turkey

July 17, 2012 "Beaching it" in Bodrum

We all collectively decided (after coming together with the idea already cemented in our own minds) that Tuesday should be a day of pure relaxation.  So while we ate our included Turkish breakfasts in the hotel garden at quaint little tables we made a plan to meet later at some beach that we’d take a shuttle to.  Our breakfast was the same everyday, several slices each of tomato & cucumber along with 4 kalamata olives and a nice slice of white cheese, resembling feta but not as salty.  They also brought bread with some herbed olive oil to dip in or jelly to spread on, hard boiled eggs and coffee or tea in the traditional tea cups.  Very good, pretty light but filling enough.  It was so hot already at 9 a.m. I wanted to stay inside our air conditioned room instead of venturing out but that would have been lame.  Tony had told me first thing that morning when we woke “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.  The good news is it’s only 83 degrees out right now.  The bad news is it’s supposed get to 104 today!”  I heard Turkey (or at least the areas we were in!) were having a heat wave, lucky for us. 

We did a little wandering around before meeting up with Novi to find the shuttle to the beach meeting place.  On our way we witnessed, or just missed witnessing, a scooter accident where I think a car turning left onto a street ran into a scooter riding down said street.  I heard the crunch and saw the couple on the scooter tip over but it didn’t seem too bad to me, I mean there are scooters & motorcycles riding all over the narrow streets along with all the foot traffic and cars so I could imagine, sadly, that accidents wouldn’t be uncommon.  The girl on the back of the scooter seemed a bit traumatized and she was helped to the sidewalk and given water while someone called an ambulance.  We moved on since what else could we do?  We went to the central bus station, just a few blocks walk, found the bus to Golturkbuku, which I guess was the name of the little resort village (LITTLE) on the other side of the peninsula from Bodrum, about a 30 minute ride similar in scenery to the ride from the airport.  Just lots of wilderness, tall, gangly versions of the pine tree everywhere, olive trees, shrubs and beautifully colored bougainvillea.  It was so pleasant…despite the fucking 104 degrees we saw a digital thermometer telling us it was, in Celsius.  We got off the bus at the top of the resort’s long, steep, cobblestone, bougainvillea lined driveway and walked down.  I couldn’t even tell anything about the resort, I guess it was small, one story & private since we just walked through a breezeway and were on the bay.  There were small resort restaurants and then big, square docks extending out over the water, since there’s no “proper” beach anywhere it seems.  We found our group, staked out on a bunch of beach recliners under umbrellas, so we staked out a few for ourselves and then hit the water.  I hadn’t worn or brought my swim suit that day, like a brainiac, but I just went in wearing my shorts and tee shirt like it was no big deal.  The water was SO nice, clear and warm.  We got Teagan into her little yellow bikini and Tony took her out slowly so she wouldn’t freak out and once she was IN she was HAPPY!  She is truly our little fish, just so at ease in the water and excited to splash and kick.  Tony had her out for a while and then we tried getting Tyler out there which wasn’t as easy but he eventually went, though spent most of his brief time clinging to daddy like if he let go he would die!  The rest of the time we just lounged, some people read their kindles or napped, I was actually blogging on my little “clamshell” notebook.  I just can’t stand the sun, baking in it that is.  If I’d brought my book I’d probably have been reading but I feel awful if I nap in that situation and I get bored so easily and though I love going out in the water, I’m totally exposed to the sun.  I’m just not a sun worshipper.  We eventually left several hours later, around 630 pm, all 11 of us squeezing into a mini bus shuttle back to Bodrum.

Back at the hotel we all got cleaned up and met up in the central garden patio area of the hotel, working on a bottle of vodka that was leftover from the wedding reception.  Part of the group went one way at that point and we went walking to find dinner with Nate & Rebecca, Alison, Ray & Dawn.  We settled on a non-descript place not far from our hotel where the owner put together tables out on the sidewalk for us and we had one of our best meals of the entire trip.  Rebecca ordered some delish stuffed pepper that came with dolmas and a common yogurt/garlic/herb thick dipping mixture thing that was TO DIE FOR which we promptly ordered a second helping of and shared.  The 3 veggies ordered the, aptly named, vegetarian casserole and just absolutely loved it.  Again it was made with eggplant, mushrooms, tomato, potato, olive oil and herbs basically.  SO FREAKIN’ GOOD!! 

As per usual it was LATE – where on earth does the time go in Turkey??  It’s god awful late before you know it but everyone is still out.  In fact it becomes totally mobbed with people at night and doesn’t let up at all until 2 or so.  I guess it’s because the sun is down and the weather is cooler (80’s) and all the stores & restaurants stay open way, way late.  Everyone else but us, Dawn & Ray, stayed out but it was already ridiculously late for the kids so we just went back to the hotel.  It was crazy because there were these LOUD bugs in the garden surrounding the hotel, maybe crickets or cicadas or something similar, making SO MUCH noise and then they’d just stop, making it seem like it had been only one bug but how could that be?  How could it be that one bug makes so much noise or that so many bugs could stop all at once and stay quiet?  I don’t understand the bug world and I don’t care to, but it made me feel itchy & crawly so for that reason on top of the heat and slathered sunblock and sweat had me in the shower every night before bed, my 2^nd or 3^rd of each day!

 didn't know I owned a chain of clothing stores in Bodrum, eh?

 She is totally squeeling with delight in this picture!

 post swim bottle in mommy's lap, aaaaah!

 the group of us from our day "beach" excursion

 the group of us waiting to pile into one of these small shuttles

at dinner that night

July 16, 2012 Bodrum, Turkey

The day after the big Maiden Tower reception was another late sleep-in for me and the kids but this time Tony got smart and went out to do some things.  When I got up I went to exchange the Swatch watch Tony had bought me the last time I slept in with one that was a little more ME.  Then we had to shift into high gear and get packed up since we were leaving Istanbul that day.  We hustled to the airport shuttle, a short “city” walk away, pulling our bags, wearing backpacks or in my case wearing Teagan and pushing the stroller nearly toppling over with our bags as well as Tyler riding on the front.  Of course I was the one to make it to the shuttle stop first but unfortunately it was too full for any or all 6 of us so we got on the next one that left in another 30 minutes.  No biggie since we’ve learned our lesson finally in Turkey (a week into it) to allow plenty of extra time to get anywhere.  The hour ride to Istanbul’s other airport than we flew into proved to us just what the tour books said about how expansive the “city” is.  We met up with our group at the airport, killed time until the flight, nearly missed it waiting for Tony & Novi who were off getting coffee and farting around but soon were on our way to Bodrum, 14 of us. 

Vacation Within A Vacation

There was a shuttle waiting for us all at the Bodrum airport, we packed in and were whisked away on a one-lane, windy highway past arid olive-clad hillsides and breath taking crystal sea views.  There is an ordinance in Bodrum that no building, residential or business, can be painted any color but white and so the bustling holiday destination city takes on a feel of a Greek Island…although I’ve never been to Greece so I’m only thinking of photos I’ve seen.  Most of us were staying at the same place, a little garden hotel where Evin & her family have been vacationing for years.  It was located just a couple blocks off the main drag which to the right was lined with souvenir, leather, shoe & clothes shops and to the left lined with restaurants.  Straight ahead?  The harbor and Aegean Sea.  After dropping our stuff in our room we went exploring and soon found ourselves sitting in chairs on the pebble beach, dipping our toes in the warm water and enjoying a drink under the stars.  Aaaah heaven.  We hung out there a little while with a bunch of our group then we wandered off a bit but ended up coming back to a neighboring place and having a little late night dinner with Evin, her sister Pelin & their parents.  I ordered the pida but this one wasn’t nearly as flavorful as the one I’d had in Istanbul, though it was topped with a lot more “goodies” like corn, olives, pickles and red pepper.  Tony had a shwarma-type wrap like the Arici (Evin, Pelin & their  parents) family was having, although they all drank the Ayran “sour” yogurt drink, straw popped right through the foil on top.  I can’t imagine.  I really wasn’t *that* hungry and it was pushing midnight so after I ate that whole cheesy pida myself I was pretty irritated at myself.  Oh well, that’s what vacation is for, right?    

We walked the short few blocks back to our hotel and crawled in after another long day!

 The group waiting to board our plane to Bodrum

 Sitting on the "beach" in Bodrum our first night, enjoying the view & a drink!

 Hard to make out, but that's the castle in the background.  Nevermind my scary hair!

 Daddy with our travel weary kiddos!

July 15 Day Of Brides

July 15, 2012 A Day Of Brides

Disclaimer: I do not know very much about the Muslim culture or religion and while I will speak about it a little below I want to say I could be totally wrong in my statements.  As per, much of what I write is purely from my point of view & opinion as well.  I do not intend to speak ill of anyone or misrepresent cultural rules and values.

We weren’t about to be rushing to make it on time to tonight’s wedding reception, as we were Friday night to the garden ceremony, so we all planned to meet way ahead of time to get the tram to the ferry that would take us to Maiden Tower.  So we made our way on the same tram we’ve been taking every day up to the Sultanamet stop where we were the day before, this time with plans to actually go inside one of the big attractions.  BUT FIRST, because time in Turkey seems to just fly, and it does anyway with children, it was lunchtime and we needed to eat.  Back in the same touristy area as our tense, overpriced meal the day before, we found a little cafeteria’ish place with yummy looking vegetarian items in the chafing dishes in the window.  My typical vegetarian meal in Turkey has consisted of eggplant, potato, mushroom, tomato and spices which I’m going to make it my main goal when I get home to figure out how to make.  You’d think I’d get sick of ordering it, but I don’t, it varies ever so slightly each time but is generally always good.  It’s all in the spices I think.  We had a relaxed, non-glamorous, decent priced, filling meal before moving on to the Blue Mosque.  The place was enormous and impressive with 6 minarets and massive domes.  Along the outside wall there was what reminded me of a dugout kind of space where dozens of water spigots lined the wall and people could rinse off in the shade before going inside the mosque to pray.  There was a dozen or more stone stairs leading up to the courtyard and we weren’t about to heft the stroller up that so we decided to take turns going inside.  I waited for Tony and then went up myself, just as the midday prayer call started up, so the mosque was closed to visitors briefly.  Five times a day, from loud speakers all over the city, the call to prayer echoes in the background whether you are inside or out.  I never actually saw anyone stopping to kneel and pray but I assume that’s because I was mostly in tourist areas and I’d heard that those who would halt their day to do so plan accordingly so they didn’t find themselves in a bind.  Like I guess the taxi drivers won’t take a fare that could interfere with prayer time.  All I could think to myself was, if there is a God, does he really expect people to stop what they are doing 5 times a day and pray to him??  Ok, that’s maybe harsh to say and I don’t mean to put down whom or how or when people practice their religion, but it just seems so extreme to me to have to stop what you are doing 5 times a day to get on your knees and pray wherever you are.  Funny thing is, I was actually kinda digging on the prayer calls – you knew exactly what time it was (I guess some people don’t even wear watches because they let the calls tell them the time) and it was not unlike a sort of lullaby, if you will.  Not that it put me to sleep but rather it just felt soothing.  It’s a man’s voice (naturally, it wouldn’t possibly be a woman’s considering they aren’t equals & they have to cover up head to toe even in the god awful heat!) must be a recording, I guess but don’t really know, it always sounded the same but I didn’t listen that closely and even if I did I doubt I could tell the difference.  Getting back to the story though, I wouldn’t have been able to go inside the mosque anyway because there was a sign strictly stating women must have their heads covered and not have exposed legs.  I didn’t bring the little scarf/head wrap thing that day that I’d borrowed from my mother-in-law before the trip and I was wearing a spaghetti strap sundress that didn’t even reach my knees.  Oh well, I took pictures of the courtyard and was content with that.  Back out in front before moving on Tony insisted Tyler & I pose individually with his precious Turkey flag and I felt absolutely ridiculous.  When I protested he told me he’d posed for sillier things for me, though I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what that would be, so I went along with it.  I was just imagining driving through North Beach in San Francisco and seeing some tourists taking pictures of each other holding a big American flag and how random that would seem.  Then again, maybe it would be nice, I mean it’s definitely a positive feeling you get seeing a tourist with your flag. 

It’s a nice day for a white wedding

As we walked the short distance from the Blue Mosque to the Aya Sofya, yet another historical mosque, we passed by a couple having their wedding day photos taken.  You’d never be able to tell from the man’s appearance that they were out of the US, his black tuxedo looking crisp & dashing while his bespeckled face looked so young & sweet & innocent.  The bride was really who caught my attention, wearing an ivory colored gown fairly shapeless, completely covering her neck, chest & arms with a head wrap covering her hair below a bridal headpiece and veil behind.  I could tell even from a distance the dress had beautiful beading detail that seemed to wrap in front creating a V where her décolletage would be.  She was stunningly beautiful; the amount of make-up on her face making her look older than her groom but her flawless skin gave her the appearance of absolute peace.  In fact, she seemed almost like a deity to me, as if I was actually in the presence of a higher being.  That’s saying a lot coming from me and I really can’t explain it any better than that.  Maybe if I’d seen her more close up my bubble would have burst but I didn’t so I’m going to let the fantasy live.  We “stalked” the couple for a little while, taking pictures as their photographer took pictures.  I just didn’t want to leave them but of course we soon did. 

We were waived ahead of the long line waiting to get into the Aya Sofya since we had the stroller and small children which was very nice.  The Church of Divine Wisdom, as it is known in English, is Istanbul’s most famous monument, completed in 537.  The entire main area was covered in hanging “chandeliers” which I thought was random and wondered when they were installed and why, but it looked pretty cool.  The mosaics were gorgeous, gold colored, depicting Madonna & Child as well as a scene of the dedication of the Aya Sofya.  It was interesting to find out they were covered up as ordered by Mehmet the Conqueror in 1453 with beautiful tiles as it was converted from a church to a mosque.  The tiles were removed and the mosaics restored starting in 1935.  The soaring dome was truly awe inspiring but more curious than that was the several giant black “medallions” inscribed with gilt Arabic letters, apparently (since I don’t read Arabic I take the word of the Lonely Planet tour book!) give the names of God (Allah), Mohammed and the early caliphs Ali & Abu Bakr.  They just seemed so strangely out of place, like big billboards inside a church, but while I wasn’t so taken by them they added an aspect of uniqueness and separated this beautiful, mammoth church from so many of the others I’ve seen in my travels.  I diddled around in the museum store for a while after having lost Tony as I took pictures and then I went outside to wait for him in the shade with the kids.  I waited almost an hour.  We saw our friends Nate & Rebecca come in and go out in that time.  When Tony finally found us we did the whole “where were you? I’ve been looking for you forever!” back & forth, realizing we must have just kept missing each other.  Oh well, no use in getting upset.  Off we went to the tram and went back to our apartment to get ready for the big reception.

Dryer Turned Weapon

I took a shower and washed my hair but was almost immediately sorry I did so, even though it really needed it.  It was just so hot & humid that using my hairdryer seemed retarded and then my hair even kinda felt like it didn’t get totally clean.  Never the less I got the adapter and plugged my dryer in, turning it on to my normal at-home setting, high air, and high heat.  Suddenly I felt like I was hold a jet airplane engine in my hand, the high air setting coming out like it was going to blast off to space!  Seriously, it was crazy loud & intense so I switched it down to the lowest setting which was what my high setting at home felt like.  The other problem was the heat setting, with it on high it literally started sparking, the coils inside turning so bright red immediately that I freaked and turned the whole thing off.  I tried it again with low heat, low air and I was just back to the humidity & dirty hair issue, so I managed to dry just the front and pull some back creatively and the rest I left looking matted and gross!  Hahaha!  I was also warned that if my dress revealed too much cleavage it would be disrespectful to the families so I did my best to pin my dress up to cover my girls but ended up taking it out later as I realized many other guests were showing just as much, if not more, cleavage & leg.  Perhaps the warning was about the garden wedding where there was a lot of very covered up family.  That’s something that makes me curious too, as I walk down the street or sit on the tram next to a Muslim woman who HAS TO BE sweating to death under all those clothes, esp. if they are the traditional black, and here I sit with as much skin as I can reveal without being arrested for indecent exposure.  Ok, I’m not Britney Spears or Mariah Carey, I wasn’t wearing any tube tops revealing my belly button and shorts cut so high you could see my cheeks hanging out the back – although I did actually see some of the latter walking around!

We all rendez-vous’d at the ferry terminal ahead of time where we waited to board.  I’ve never seen such a crowd of fancy (without being way formal) but uniquely dressed, beautiful women.  Ok ok, the men all looked very nice in their suits too.  But these dresses were gorgeous and I found out they were bought in boutiques in Turkey from Turkish designers.  I took a picture of one and decided I wanted to do a painting inspired by it.  We loaded on the ferry but then just sat there, rocking & swaying with the waves for a while making me feel like losing my cookies over the side of the boat.  The woman sitting next to me was so taken with Teagan, and vise versa, that I tried to lose myself in the distraction.  Another gorgeous Turkish woman, make-up impeccable, hair coifed, dresses so unique and awesome.  I made sure Avni got a picture of me & Teagan with her but it was on Avni’s camera so I’ve gotta get it from her.  Before I knew it Teagan was being passed around, as was not uncommon in these settings I’d found.  It was nice to be free of her for a few minutes, let me breathe a little and cool off without her hot body in my lap; however, it didn’t last long as she went from beautiful woman to older attractive lady to weathered older man.  I couldn’t blame her, who would want to be held by all these strangers, most of them kissing her arms or head, all of them pinching her cheeks.  It was totally enduring and the most comfortable, nicest thing I experienced while in Turkey, but just so unusual where we come from.  I wondered if it was that way with all babies or if perhaps it was her fair skin and blue eyes and round cheeks.  Regardless, soon she was back in my arms and we were finally headed out to the Maiden Tower.

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your golden hair!

So the Kiz Kulesi (Maiden Tower) is a small island in the Bosphorous, near the Asian side of Istanbul and functioned in ancient times as a tollbooth & defense point but there is a myth that is much nicer to think of, let’s see how well I can re-tell it.  Apparently some ?princess? way back in the day fell in love with an average guy so she couldn’t marry him but her parents took pity on their young love and built the little island with light-house to serve as a meeting place for them.  The guy would swim out to the island, lead by the lighthouse, and the two lovers could be together.  Then something happened… hahaha, this is where I’m unclear on the details (since up to know they’ve been so clear!) but maybe it was a revolt or war or something that pitted the young man against the girl’s family but they would no longer be allowed to see each other and to make it final one night the lighthouse was left dark and the man drowned swimming out to his love.  I’m not sure what happened to the girl, I’d kinda like to think she jumped to her death from the top of the lighthouse when she found out her lover was dead, kinda Romeo & Juliet style, but I’m not sure :)

We arrived on the island (which is very small, containing a restaurant inside the lighthouse) to find in the small outside area filled with big round tables and sparkly, flowery centerpieces, the chairs all tied with a lavender sash.  Our main group of young Americans were all seated at table 10 Buenos Aires…the table numbers all corresponded to a destination country capitol, like London & Paris.  The sun was starting to set over the Bosphorous just when someone recognized that a boat was approaching the island (a while after the ferries that brought us there had departed) and on it were the bride & groom making their grand entrance.  Now I can’t remember what music was playing, it may have been a Turkish tune, but whatever it was I got the chills hearing it and seeing Evin & Deutron waving from their sultan.  It was the coolest entry I’ve ever seen, personally or in tv/movies.  The sultan looks to me like a larger gondola like you see in Venice although this one has a motor instead of guys rowing or whatever that’s called they do with those long sticks in Italy!  They did a pass by, circled around and came in again, this time everyone was hip to what was going on and were all watching and cheering and videoing.  Once they were on the island and made their entrance (Evin now wearing #4 of 5 dresses, this one western) they stood on a slightly raised stage and an American woman, dressed fairly casual & comfortable, giving me the impression she was a very down to earth, spiritual guide & friend of Deutron’s from Santa Cruz, gave a very nice non-denominational blessing, which reminds me I need to get a copy of it since it was so good.  There was a first dance and then we all had our dinner, in several courses, and wine before the cake was brought out to cut.  Another grandiose fake cake!!  Too funny!!  There was a live band and female singer and much of what she sang was Turkish but they also had music coming from an iPod playlist or something that they intermixed.  It was dark and a little breezy but nice after the hot day.  Then up in the sky, a bright flash of light and “boom” turning all our heads as The Wanted’s song “I’m Glad You Came” started playing.  The fireworks were totally awesome!!  They lasted the whole song and were big & beautiful, being set off from a boat not far from the island.  It was just the best.  Deutron had been the one, along with another of our friends, to set off our fireworks on the beach at our wedding but these may have showed up our’s!  We all danced, even Tyler, and had just a great night.  There was a fabulous congo line that twisted through all the tables and they played “I’m Glad You Came” one more time when the couple was dancing together surrounded by all their guests and when the verse “I’m glad you came” played they pointed to all of us!  It was so sweet. 

Blisters and Banged Up Heels

We took the ferry back around midnight and everyone went for a little walk, thoroughly drunk, looking for a hooka bar but once we came upon it that’s where we split off, not willing or able to stay out with the kids any later.  That was for the best, we were toasted anyway and not getting enough sleep and the next day we were flying to Bodrum.  All the dancing and walking on cobblestones totally messed up my feet and high heels, but it was all worth it!!

 Teagan & I waiting for Tony outside the Blue Mosque

 The beautiful bride we saw by the Aya Sofya

 Inside the Aya Sofya with all the hanging "chandeliers"

 Our table at the Maiden Tower reception

The bride & groom's grand entrance

July 21, 2012 t-minus again

Time check: 9:25 a.m.

Is it just me or is it hot in here?  Well it's probably hot outside already but we've got the a/c pumping in our Courtyard Marriott hotel room; however, I've been up and running around repacking to fit last minute gift purchases yesterday into my check-in bag and get the kids dressed and bags repacked, etc. so I'm working up a bit of a sweat.  Ok, that doesn't exert that much energy, so aside from the hot nescafe I'm drinking and the jeans I'm wearing for the plane ride (why did I bring them at all??) I think I've just gone into panic mode.  Actually I think it's just a combination of all of the above, minus the panic which is really just anxiety to finish my blogs before getting home.  I figure once I'm home there's no way I'll finish them and I've done that before on previous vacations and it sucks.  We have to leave the airport by 11 for our 1:55 flight (the airport is supposed to be a disaster for departures) and still need to go down to breakfast.  Tyler is laying on the floor naked playing with Tony's belt and singing Madonna's "Give Me All  Your Lovin'", Teagan is on the bed chewing on the single most germ ridden object in this hotel room, the tv remote control and Tony is actually cleaning up and putting things away.  It's been a whirlwind trip, at times making me wish it was just a bad dream I was soon to wake up from (mostly just regarding the heat & sun or frustrating times of being "lost") and other times pure relaxing, enjoyable and beautiful.  Right now it feels like we've been gone forever and I know when I'm home tomorrow I'll wonder to myself if it actually was all just a dream.

I finished my last post, only halfway through the trip, this morning at 1:45 am before crawling into bed and sleeping like the dead.  It was soooo hard to wake up when Tony's alarm went off at 7:30...so I didn't, I stayed in that half asleep, half awake state for almost another hour.  I guess Tony read my blog from last night already so I questioned him about it: Was it interesting? Boring? Too much detail? Not enough detail? Understandable? Enough emotion?  From his responses I would guess it earned a B grade...maybe C+?  Maybe B-?  Of course no one is grading my blogs, except me sorta.  I want to be a great writer, I want to evoke emotion and paint vivid visions for my readers, I want it to at least be interesting.  I can see how  many people checked into my blog but I don't know if they read the whole thing (or at all after scrolling down to see how much I wrote, in which case just checking out the few pics I posted) or what they thought of it because no one ever leaves a comment.  So it's hard to know how I'm doing, I only get Tony's thoughts and his are only slightly less critical than my own.  I think when I get home I'll try to sign up for a creative writing class and schedule myself an absolute couple hours each week to write.  Turkey has been both about just observing and not so much reacting (as Tony mentioned there was a lot of facts but not so much reaction in my writing) but also relaxing and recharging.  I feel inspired but not from one particular thing although I suppose all the beautiful tiles and mosaics have sparked some new ideas for artwork when I get home.  I just always feel like when I get home from a trip it's like starting a new chapter in my life because the trip was such a huge, eventful thing and now regular day-to-day takes on a new feel, a new objective, a new desire... even though it's all just the same as when I left.  Thoughts to ponder on the long flight home. 

Heading down to breakfast now and then to the airport.