It's big news when you have a baby, but it's even bigger news when you give birth in the car on the way to the hospital. Generally just women, pregnant or already mothers, are the ones that want to hear about your labor and delivery but this time everyone is asking - WTF Happened?!
So first things first, my sweet angel baby Teagan Ava was not born on my birthday...she was kind (and smart) enough not to do that to me. Instead she came the day before my birthday on June 24th. I was 38 wks and 1 day pregnant, having just two days before worked my last day as a nanny in San Jose and just the day before been bopping around downtown SF pushing Tyler in the stroller, running errands & having lunch with my cousin. It may be worth mentioning that by the time I was waddling slowly home from Muni that day I was holding the bottom of my belly because of the pressure.
Anyone who talked to me about this pregnancy knew I was really holding out for a July baby...she was due July 7th so that seemed perfectly doable, but I was slightly worried about her coming on my birthday and I really just wanted her to have the ruby birthstone. I know, a chick thing. No, a Tiffany thing ;) So regardless of my totallly irrational fears of going into labor "any minute now" throughout my 3rd trimester, simply because I just feared it could happen not that I was having any physical issues, I really was in denial when I woke up June 24th at 4 a.m. with contractions. I actually thought it surely must just be gas. It felt totally different then when I went into labor with Tyler and I was just 38 wks, I wasn't ready yet! I managed to sleep off & on through the contractions until 630 when I woke up and freaked out about where I'd parked the car, thinking we were going to get a street cleaning ticket, so I started getting dressed. As I'm pulling on my yoga pants and then stopping to breathe through another contraction Tony asked me where I was going. I told him to move the car, oh and by the way, not to worry but I *might* be in labor! Well Tony put the kabash on my moving the car, said he'd go himself and suggested I call the hospital. At this point I decided it would be a good idea to time some "contractions" (ok, I was starting to believe they were real now) because surely Labor & Delivery would ask me how far apart they were & how long they were lasting. With Tyler laying in bed with me (where he'd spent the night since he'd woken at midnight barking like a seal and wheezing like some dying old codger, prompting us to call the nighttime advice nurse & who almost had us come into the ER with him but then he seemed to get better and Tony & I were happy to just stay in bed with him) I began timing...approx 4 minutes apart for 45-60 sec. Was this close? You'd think I never had a baby or read everything under the sun about labor suddenly. I called Kaiser and they said "C'mon in!" I then called my mom & told her it was show-time and she should get her bootay up to the city to watch Tyler. My next move was a FB post in disbelief of my current status and then a text to my best friend who was supposed to be in the delivery room with us to be a part of it all as well as to document the whole new life emerging & first minutes in photographs - which he did for Tyler's birth as well. Dan's response? "Put a cork in it, my commuter bus is just passing the airport heading south away from the city, I can be there this evening!" Considering how long my labor was with Tyler (32 hrs including 2 1/2 of pushing before the vaccum was finally used) he probably thought, as did I for that matter, that it was possible he would make it.
Yeah...uhm...no.
Now I dashed around (ok I wasn't exactly dashing since I was halted dead in my tracks and even brought to my knees a few times when contractions hit as I tried to breathe through the pain) trying to pack my hospital bag. No, it wasn't packed, I wasn't ready at all for this, not now anyway! My birthday was the next day and a brunch was planned, I hadn't gotten a much needed pedicure yet (was saving that for a special thing on my birthday), I still had action items on my to-do-before-baby list not crossed off! I was not ready!! But that baby was comin' anyway. I probably packed my bag even slower than if I weren't in labor because I just couldn't think straight, what did I need? 5 pair of underwear? Ok sure, that sounds right. Tony was getting Tyler ready and packing his own sorta hospital bag and then went to get the car, which didn't need to be moved after all! Parked out front as Tony buckled Tyler into his carseat another contraction hit me, paralyzing me halfway in/out of the car, door wide open, groaning into the passenger seat and clutching my labor necklace in my left hand - a gift of strength from my baby shower guests. I wonder if a passerby would have even thought anything was wrong with the scene. I climbed in but couldn't figure out in my breathless state how to recline my seat or move it back or anything and I had a hairbrained idea about crawling down onto the floorboard but upon attempting that maneuver realized I was way too big to fit in that space. Not sure what I thought that would do for me anyway. Did I think curling into a tiny ball was going to make the pain go away? Maybe. Tony got in the driver's seat and suddenly couldn't find the car keys and said he was going back inside. WHAT?! He's lucky another contraction hit and I didn't have the spare energy to tear his head off! In fact, somewhere in my sane mind I thought "it will do me no good to scream at him right now, I have to save & focus my efforts on getting through this ungodly pain!" Back in the car Tony finally had us off to the hospital.
It was probably 8:30 a.m. now. Oh and interestingly enough, just down the street from our house is St. Luke's hospital...but we still had no idea we didn't have the time to get to our own hospital 20 minutes away. All I could think was "Fuck trying to be superwoman and doing this without drugs, THIS HURTS!!" So as I repeated to Tony "you have to get us there, you have to get us there" to which I'm sure he was thinking "and what else did you think I was trying to do?" my only thought was wondering how many more of these contractions & blinding pain could I endure between now and arriving at the hospital so I could get an epidural? Surely I was going to die before we arrived, I was really starting to think that. Several minutes, blocks and contractions later I was up on my knees on the seat, leaning over the center console, clawing at Tony & the gear shift & the emergency break, shoving my face into his jacket hanging off him and trying to remember everything I read about getting through this pain as I screamed, groaned, made animal noises and did quick hoo-hoo-hoo breathing. Looking up I saw a veritable disaster in the making, a long line of cars at a stop-sign being held up by back-to-back Muni trains turning in front of said stop as a Friday morning commuter Muni traffic jam was in progress. I think I screamed Nooooo! and ducked my head back down, praying Tony would find a way around the snarl. I don't know what happened or how long it took, I think not long and we were on our way again.
Now I started demanding Tony run lights and stop signs, again repeating "you have to get us there, you have to get us there!" Tony had called the hospital alerting them of our impending arrival and they told him to call 911. I couldn't figure out what that was going to do for us since under no circumstances did i want him to stop the car. But he called 911 and right about that time during my next contraction I think I crapped my pants, literally, because suddenly there was this insane pressure and feeling that I was pushing (or taking a giant crap) and there was a sinking feeling inside me as I told Tony "oh no, I'm pushing, tell them I'm pushing and I can't help it" and panic started to set in. Then more pressure and a pop that seemed audible but probably wasn't as a sensation of warmth flowed down my legs and I said "oh my god, my water just broke." What a strange experience that was, it almost felt like my entire being was inside that burst which of course sounds absurd and random but there's no other way to describe it. In hindsight I guess this was the transition phase I was going through and unless it's just my memory muddying or all the adrenaline, pain & fear I was in but it was like I ceased feeling human, feeling my body or having any logical relation to anything happening. It was like the opposite of the out-of-body experience I had giving birth to Tyler. I was so IN my body that I became just a mass of energy. As if so many of our bodily functions aren't involuntary, it was like my body was suddenly taken over, every cell a control center and all systems GO! I guess the 911 operator finally told Tony "Sir, you need to pull over, the fire trucks can't just follow you through the city!" So through the next intersection he took an open spot at the curb, parked it and ran around the side of the car as I'm now screaming "SHE'S COMING OUT! SHE'S COMING OUT! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE THE BABY IN THE CAR!!" and indeed she was coming out. I felt the "ring of fire" (ladies who've had babies, you know what this is, ladies who haven't & men - just think about it) and knew the head was crowning. Tony opened the passenger door and pulled down my yoga pants, assuming the position - hands outstretched palms facing up - as I screamed "OH MY GAWD"...or so I think I did! The next thing I knew there was this huge pressure and release and our baby pushed right out of me and into her daddy's waiting hands. It was not unlike taking a huge dump. The pain was over and I turned around to get my first view of our little girl, all red, white & slimey all curled up in daddy's arms. Tony was still on the phone with 911, his cellphone pinned between his ear and shoulder, and they were instructing him to make sure her airway was cleared, that she was breathing and that the cord wasn't tangled around her. She was fine, she was breathing, she was beautiful. I grabbed my furry (my security blanket that is basically a piece of furry fabric my mom bought off the bolt at a fabric store and had on my crib mattress when i came home from the hospital and yes I still sleep with it and was therefore of course was bringing it to the hospital) and we wrapped her in it for warmth and I held her in disbelief, still kneeling in the front passenger seat, as Tony went to flag down the firetrucks that were approaching. A very nice firewoman came up and took the baby from me to check her out, although not far since we were still attached by the umbilical cord. She told me the baby looked great and was beautiful and that it was her birthday too that day! At this point I noticed a crew of firemen around the car...HOT firemen...and realizing my ass was still bare for the world to see, legs covered in blood and a cord hanging out my cooch, I was struck by modesty and decided to keep my head down and hair hanging in my face. It was at this time actually, as I was hiding but also allowing myself to crumble a bit, my strength & bravery no longer required, that I relaxed onto the center console and looked into the backseat where Tyler sat, quiet as a church mouse, book in hand, gazing out the window at all the hub-bub. I began to sob. It all hit me at once and I went with it.
The ambulance arrived next (all of this which seemed to last forever in reality went so quickly) and soon the umbilical cord was being clamped off and Tony cutting it, severing the tie between my daughter & I. Just before I was helped onto a gurney I felt a cramping and then another gush as I filled the seat with blood and whatnot. My first ride in an ambulance...I held my daughter to my chest, skin to skin, oxygen flowing through tubes in my nose, my jaw chattering uncontrollably and tears pouring from my eyes. I delivered the placenta in our 3 block ride to the hospital - yes, we were that close. I heard one of the paramedics say to the other "Bob..." or whatever his name was "...we're gonna need to save that" referring to the placenta and then I saw "bob" clad in rubber gloves putting it into a hazmat bag just like they'd done with my bloody yoga pants back at the car. I was wheeled in through Emergency, slowly & casually, the announcement preceeding my gurney one of "it's all ok, mom & baby are fine, we're just taking her up to labor & delivery." Which is exactly where we went and there was a sense of calm, peace & ease as the nurses checked me out (no tears or anything!) and the baby (perfecto except for being a little chilled to which they fixed with the warming lights) and soon Tony & Tyler were walking through the door of my room and we were all together, our little family.
It was such a drasticly different experience from Tyler's delivery that Tony & I found ourselves sitting there in the quiet calm wondering aloud what the fuck just happened?! It was done? Over? She was here? We'd delivered her in the car?! Tony made the observation that it was quite anti-climactic to which I replied agast, "THAT was ANTI-climactic?!" But in a way I knew what he meant. There was no 32 hour lead-up, no 2 1/2 hours of pushing, no room buzzing with doctors, nurses, anaesthesiologists, pediatricians, etc. No threat of a c-section if the vacuum didn't work. No one else with us, just our little family. We were, naturally, still riding the adrenaline high, which wasn't to crash until later that day. My mom arrived before too long, all giddy & excited to meet the new grandbaby and hear all the details about the drama delivery, which she'd already boasted in as much detail as she knew to several people over the phone. I was moved to my private room where courtesy champagne flutes & a bottle of sparkling apple cider welcomed us...announcing in blue script "It's a Boy!" to which we sheepishly requested be exchanged with "It's a Girl!" flutes. Now we have both sets at home which is perfect since we didn't get that fun gift when Tyler was born. My dad visited and reveled in the tiny human he held in his arms. I felt great, as if my body (and mind) hadn't gone through such a significant ordeal and I wondered if that wasn't the way to do it. Ok, not ideal esp. in the case of birth complications, but really it was just nature the way it used to be, the way it was intended to be? No drugs, no stirrups, no doctors, no fetal heart monitors, no white walls and open rear gowns. Would I do it that way again? It's a joke now that if we were to have a 3rd child I should spend my final month at the hospital...or just plan for a home birth. Well I can't do it over and as insane as it was, it was perfect. I replayed the whole thing over and over and over and over and over again that night as I lay in my hospital bed, cradling my baby girl, my prize, listening to ambient new age music & watching the accompanying nature scenes on the tv, tears flowing down my cheeks. I've recovered by now...and yet I don't think I ever truly will.
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