Teagan is still sleep training, or rather she is still waking up in the night screaming for unknown amounts of time and so Tyler is sleeping with us again - she teased us with 4 nights in a row of silent nights and then went back to her old ways. Tyler seems to wake with daybreak at 7 and even though I've awoken as well I play my best part of still asleep as he gently begins jumping on me or holding my hands close to his mouth, even rubbing his teeth on them, as he grinds his teeth. Usually when that last part happens I have to break my silence and like an actress playing a dead person I suddenly come to life tho only through my voice as I say "TYLER, do NOT grind your teeth!" and then I snatch away my hand. This game goes on a while before I give up and open my eyes and Tyler says "momma, it's daytime, let's go downstairs!" If I didn't want to throw him against the wall so badly I would just kiss every inch of him!
So that's how my Valentine's Day began. Tony is out of town so after we all had our breakfast I gave the cards he left to each recipient. Tyler loves opening cards and when he saw the Elmo on this one he was very excited. I read it to him but I think I was more touched by daddy's "will you be my valentine?" request than Tyler was! Then Teagan's...which I opened for her...and she proceeded to eat! I let her gum on it and enjoy it and mark it for a few minutes before taking it away lest her very first Valentine from her daddy be totally unreadable! Tyler opened my card, a fanning of 12 red roses, which was very sweet. Teagan gnawed on the gift box Tony had left for me and again I gave her the pleasure before she ingested too much fiber and then took it away. A fun Day Of The Dead lady in pink dress with devil horns and devil tail. Hey, jewelry gets old year after year! Did I just say that?! Well, ironically and silly enough, we spent Sunday together as an early Valentine's since Tony would be gone (my mom babysat) and we found ourselves at Nordstrom Rack where Tony bought for me some hot, rocker heels ($20!!) and a pair of Betsey Johnson earrings ($15!) of two pink birds sitting on a branch kissing. That to me was my Valentine jewelry gift. I just LOVE those earrings!!
As the morning dragged on I began to feel low. I felt lonely and sorry for myself, even though it's not like I was really alone in the grand scheme, just currently, and even then not totally if you count my babies. I decided I had to get busy to keep my mind off it. I was thinking I'd take the kids to the Aquarium or Zoo or something special for the day but first I had to get Boris out for some exercise or he would destroy the house once we left. So I piled us all in the car and drove up to Bernal Hill. Yes, I drove us. It's a freakin' steep mile or so to get there! I suppose if I were really serious about losing this baby weight I would just push the double stroller up there, heart pounding out of my chest and lungs about to fail me...oh and maybe stop having a few drinks each night! haha! But time was of the essence, so we drove. Boris ran straight to the area where all the gopher holes are and hovered. Tyler ran over to him and asked me what he was doing and I told him he was hunting gophers. I got bugged before long since I brought that damned dog up there to RUN not to stand over some hole with his ears perked up the whole time so I began to walk off while calling him and telling Tyler (who was standing there yelling at Boris to "come Borse" as well) that he would follow when he saw us leaving. Hahahaha!! Famous last words. Suddenly the dog freaks out, jumps around and starts digging and barking. Now the humorous thought enters my head "what's more irritating, the dog barking or the owner yelling at it to stop?" I just feel like it's peaceful up there on that hill, high above the city, where there are no cars, just views of rooftops, so who wants to hear a dog barking OR an owner yelling at it? So I stopped and just stood there. Then what to my wondering eyes did appear?? Boris running away from the "scene" carrying his victim! The damned dog actually caught the gopher!!! Wow! I was impressed and felt proud for a few minutes, like "hey peeps while your dog was over there sniffing some other dogs' butt mine caught a rodent!!" But then I didn't really care and realized no one else did...altho they actually did when they realized what he was carrying as he ran in a giant circle for the next 10 minutes, shit you not. They'd be all "what does he HAVE?" and I'd go "a gopher" as if it were no big deal. So funny the reactions and comments. One guy told me the gophers are full of nutrients and he knows a lady that brings her dog up there all the time just to catch and eat the gophers! WTF?! Then the more expected comment "your dog is gonna get sick if he eats that!" All as I sit there with Teagan bouncing on my knee and Tyler trying to run after Boris. I mean, there wasn't much I could do. I tried yelling "Boris NO! Boris, DROP IT! Boris, STOP!" but all that falls on deaf ears. I wonder if Boris really is deaf. Nah. He's just a fucker. He ran this wide circle for 10 minutes, I swear, as I tried to get him to come close so I could take a picture since I could think of nothing else to do. Then I decided if I didn't make a move to leave we would spend the entire day up there watching him run in circles with this poor, limp gopher hanging out of his mouth. Duh, I should have thought of that minutes ago! Walked to the car, Tyler trailing behind and Boris as well. Got the kids in the car and Boris was looking at me like "you're gonna leave, huh? can't I come with my prize?" and I gave him the look back that said "you are NOT bringing that muther fucking rodent into my car, dog, so you can leave it here and come with us or stay with your furry treat." So I got him to drop it beside the car and then I got out my plastic bags meant for poopy, which weren't used because Boris was too busy hunting and gloating to poop, and I picked up the gopher. On first grab I freaked, my hand wrapping around the fat little still warm body. I did some tricky maneuver and that allowed minimal contact through plastic and finally had the dead vermin double wrapped in plastic and tossed it in the trash. After I got Boris in the back of the car I told Tyler very seriously that he must not go near Boris for the rest of the day. I was thinking, what can I use to wash this dog's mouth out? I don't think he punctured the flesh, I think he just broke the poor thing's neck, but still. {shiver}
Moving on...
After a couple little errands to the post office (sorry sweet sister, the heart shaped rose petal cookies I bought you would have cost $10 to send vs the $1 to mail the card only so I'm enjoying the cookies thinking of you!) and to the barber shop to get Tyler's hair cut (where I read the a old People article about Jaycee Lee Dugard's kidnapping and excerpts from her book) we made our way to the playground for Tyler to play. On the way some disheveled looking man pops out of a van with a balloon and says "does your son want a balloon? we said we would give a balloon to the first kid who walks by!" and I see a woman in the backseat of the the truck/van tying off more helium balloons and all I could think of was "run run run, kidnap, bad man, run!" but it wasn't like he was inviting us into his van to get the balloon, I kept my distance and a defensive stance (well, in retrospect not as much as I should have...ugh) and we waited as the guy tied a loop in the ribbon for Tyler to put around his wrist so the balloon wouldn't fly away. He said they were going to a pre-school Valentine party (the balloons were red and silver) and he handed Tyler the balloon, wished us a happy day as did the woman in the van, and we walked on. I thanked them sincerely and wondered to myself as we walked away how wrong or irrational it was of me to jump to conclusions and fear the worst, and yet...you just never know in this world and after reading that horrible article just 10 minutes before I felt like a mother on high protective alert.
We played at the playground a while then went to Martha Bros. for a cookie for Tyler (a fun little heart with red sugar sprinkles) and a decaf for mom. After we sat down Tyler wanted some of my coffee and I warned him it was hot and that it had soy milk in it (not sure why I "warned" him of that last part) just as I busted out my boob for Teagan and suddenly the gramma next to me was chuckling and said "all I heard was "there's soy milk in there" and then you pulling out your breast!" Hahahaha, funny! We all enjoyed our beverage and snack and were again on our way, this time home.
Just inside the door Tyler fell asleep in the stroller. Nice! Now too bad Teagan was wide awake and yelling at her toys! I was able to do a little web surfing and relaxing as I pondered what to do for Valentine's eve. Decision made I changed diapers and pushed the stroller back out into the cold, windy evening. Our favorite spot, Rosamunde, was having a beer & chocolate pairing/tasting tonight at 7 in honor of SF Beer Week and Valentine's Day and I'd really wanted to go. The place serves food so kids are allowed so off I went. What a scene it all turned out to be. It wasn't too crowded when I arrived and ordered an Alagash Black to go with a large fries and vegan keilbasa. I read Tyler's latest Thomas magazine to him as we waited for our food...Teagan still fast asleep in the stroller. Halfway through the fries and one bite into the sausage Teagan woke up and wanted to be held. Well. That made things a whole lot more difficult. We pushed everything out of her reach (the ketchup/dipping sauces, fries, beer, sausage, etc.) but as I took a bite of my sausage she grabbed the paper that was under it and suddenly sauerkraut was all over my lap, mustard everywhere, my face a mess, my hands a mess, Tyler looking on in awe as to how to help and a server passing by that offered to do...??? I waved her on, wiped myself down, pushed the sausage farther away, took a deep breath and a big gulp of beer and just proceeded. Teagan was getting fussy so I got out her jar of organic mixed veggies, tied on a bib and started spooning it toward her yelping mouth. Nope, not so impressed. Suddenly and desperately I was whipping out the boob again, in the process getting mixed veggies all over my mammary, but alas my baby was happy suckling away. Tyler ran off to run around the water station which has two ramps on either side vs two steps and he LOVES ramps. I caught many an evil eye from both bartenders and patrons suddenly as I sat there with a babe to my boob and my other child running giddily around the establishment. He wasn't really in anyone's way but he was a CHILD in this seemingly ADULT atmosphere as well as there i was BREASTFEEDING. perhaps I'm over-reacting, I felt very vulnerable suddenly there, boob exposed, occasionally yelling at my toddler. Like "who is this woman here with her baby & toddler? aren't we all just trying to be adults and have some beer?" But then I reminded myself it IS a "family" establishment and I had every right to be there and had certainly purchased my spot since going for a second round of Alagash...which didn't taste as good as the first :( Of course, the real reason I was there, the beer & chocolate tasting. Would I make it? It was 645 and Teagan was starting to moan on the tit, a not infrequent sign that she just isn't happy regardless. I powered through, kept her on the tap until five to seven and as I saw a line beginning to form at the bar I popped her off, pulled my shirt down, grabbed my wallet and marched up to the bar.
Before I knew it (which was actually way too long since there were limited bar tenders and they had to pour these 4 specific "tastes" and set them up along with a little packaged square of chocolate and all the while Tyler is running around and the crowd in the place was growing and I could feel people thinking "what's with this kid running around?" as I stood there with this baby in my arms waiting to carry a board of beer & chocolate back to my table...where I sat alone, with my two kids) I was enjoying something totally new for me, beer & chocolate, together that is. I've tasted wine and chocolate, esp. port & chocolate, but BEER and chocolate??? This was a special SF chocolatier, TCHO, and while all the beers I didn't like on their own, I actually found them very appealing paired with the specific chocolates. There was: with a wheat beer a Serious Milk "Classic" Milk Chocolate, Rodenbach Grand Cru with Pure Dark Chocolate with "Nutty" flavor notes, Blind Pig IPA with Pure Dark Chocolate with "Chocolately" flavor notes and finally Trois Pistoles with Pure Dark Chocolate with "Fruity" flavor notes. Of course I had a little tasting partner...Tyler was very eager and excited about eating the chocolate with me.
Sudden interruption as my mouth hangs agape way longer than necessary...I'm sitting in our guest room situated at the front of our house at the desk that sits in the front bay window. It's nighttime but I still leave the blinds open...I like to look out, I hate feeling closed in even tho someone else might think of it as having privacy. WELL I just saw some motion in the street outside and looked out to see two GIANT raccoons galloping (that's how it appeared) across the street. Mind you this is a divided two lane each side thruway. Raccoons aren't so new as we've had them come in the back door and visit on occasion, drawn in by the smell of cat food no doubt, but to see them out there in the road? They ran to my side of the street but I didn't see where they went and I really wonder because a moment later a woman walked by clearly not having seen them. So where did they scurry into?! Oy vey! Crazy trashy critters.
Anyway, that's the story. Tyler and I gobbled the chocolate, and I gobbled the beer, all a lot faster than preferable, and soon we were outta there. It was a cold, windy walk home and I had to pee like a muther but I was feeling good. Much to my surprise and delight, despite the jumping around and squealing that Tyler did while I changed and dressed Teagan for bed, I managed to get that little chocolate fiend to bed not long after we got home and I haven't heard a peep from him since.
I finished another beer as I wrote this, didn't need it but wanted it, at least it was a Heine and so practically like drinking water. Guess I'll go to that next and perhaps try watching my netflix "The New World" which looks like it could be a love story in between battle scenes. It's Valentine's Day...I should just go to bed but it feels like a special day, a holiday, something deserving of lack of sleep for not much payoff :)
