It can't! Haha! What I mean is...well, let me explain. For those who are new to my blog or new to me you may not know what to expect, may be surprised by things I say or heck, maybe I bore you! In my own fantastical world in my head I'm the coolest but also dorkiest, smartest yet dumbest, sweetest yet bitchiest, hottest yet dumpiest, most talented yet a failure in the creative world. I speak what's on my mind, in general - I mentioned recently how I've accidentally put people off with things I've written when it had nothing to do with them or how they took it but I had to learn to think outside myself, even though I tend to be totally self absorbed. Aren't we all? Ok, maybe not. I took a break from my blog for a while after feeling so bad that I could have hurt or offended anyone, I told myself I was a horrible person then licked my wounds saying of course I didn't mean it but still I stayed away. After my art got really under way again and I started this daily visual journal I decided to take to the blog again, figuring it must be safe if all I'm doing is posting about my visual journal. But then I got an interesting perspective from a friend recently who said my art can be dark and my writing can definitely be dark and while they know me and know that's not totally who I am that may not be the case with everyone who reads this. I threw out some labels that people might have wondered about, like Bipolar II and Borderline Personality Disorder. Well, the internet is a great place if you haven't checked lately and if you read something you don't know the meaning of you can look it up real quick. Of course how many of us have the time to look up every dang thing we aren't totally sure about, esp. if it doesn't really relate to us at all? I have some chemical imbalances, the titles of which sounds scarier than they are. Scratch that, they can be very scary in reality, but I'm a pro at them and have learned how to explain to those close to me that it's just a cycle that comes and goes, like a roller coaster up and down, some days aren't so good, some are downright bad, others are perfectly great and fine. Tough thing is it's a crap shoot each day. If I'm on a good roll chances are each day isn't such a gamble but when things get wobbly it can be as easy as the wind changing direction and suddenly I'm engulfed. Those who don't know anyone with any mental issues or who don't have any themselves - first, your very lucky - but ya know with my imbalances comes a lot of passion. No one can deny I'm a passionate person about most everything in my life. I feel passionately. I not only have some emotional challenges but I'm also a Cancer which just adds to it. But I don't want anyone to cringe and worry about my children or my husband or anything. If you do, please feel free to contact me directly. We are all ok.
I'm an artist, how many in history do you know of that were a little off their rocker? It's not such a bad thing, I can't imagine being normal and "boring" - that was a joke, the boring part ;) At any rate, I hope those reading and following my blog don't take anything too seriously. Each day when I write and put together my visual journal it's just a snapshot of me, of my day. Often as I'm flipping through a magazine an image will pop out and I just stop and go That's It!! and it may or may not make any sense as to what actually went on in my day, or it may, but somehow it just works for me. Same goes with the "sound bites" or "catch phrases" I add to the pages. Then the poems...again, a snapshot. It may represent just 5 minutes of my whole day. I love art, you can do anything with it, you can try to send a message but people are going to interpret it so differently, from the artist's intention and from other viewers. So interpret as you may but if you really have questions or comments, I welcome them with open arms. Thank you again for reading and following me :) Peace and love be with you.
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